Tag Archives: SEL

Trust or Fear: Which Do You Choose?

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There are two places I can always go, but never at the same time.  I have to choose one or the other.

I can go to the place of fear where I will most certainly experience worry, anxiety, doubt, insecurity, and discomfort.  I don’t like going there yet it’s so easy to find myself there when I’m not being mindful of my thoughts.  Being in fear makes me sad, impatient and self-centered.   I feel nervous and uneasy there and I know instantly I don’t want to stay.  It’s not a friendly place and it’s very crowded.  Lots of people hang out there and none are happy.  There’s lots of complaining, moaning, whining, blaming, judging, criticizing and there’s no shortage of despair.

I like the other place, the place of trust.  Everyone in trust is calm, relaxed, and peaceful.  People take their time in this place; they are confident, generous, optimistic and practice gratitude.  You see lots of smiles in the land of trust.

We are always in control of our choice and we can always change our mind; which one do you choose?

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14 Year Old Accused of Murdering His Teacher Described as “…a Quiet, Normal Kid”

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How many times in recent years have we heard accused killers in school violence described as a “…quiet, normal kid?” http://www.cnn.com/2013/10/24/justice/massachusetts-chism-profile/index.html

This week’s senseless murder of a 24 year old math teacher in Massachusetts, has us all asking the same old questions, “Why didn’t anyone see warning signs in this student? How could someone who appeared so nice and normal commit such a violent crime?”

A friend and teammate described the 14 year old accused killer saying, “He was a really nice kid–had a great smile…kinda shy; kinda quiet…”  http://www.cnn.com/2013/10/25/justice/massachusetts-danvers-school-killing/

So, we are left wondering how so much anguish, rage, depression, confusion, or mental torment could exist inside a teenager’s mind to drive him to murder, while those who knew him saw no signs or warnings of what was going on in his mind.

How much effort and energy do we invest in going beyond the superficial greetings and platitudes of those with whom we interact?  How much attention do we actually pay to their body language and facial expressions? How often do we really look into the eyes of someone else to gauge how they might be feeling?  How much attention does our education system pay to teaching our students social and emotional intelligence?  How well are our schools helping students learn how to identify and manage their emotions appropriately?

What does “normal” really look like?  One of the leading brain experts, Dr. Dan Siegel, talks with Goldie Hawn, campaigner for mindfulness, about the power of mindfulness for children and youth.  Click on the link below to listen to their TEDMED talk.  Also, to learn more about the teenage mind, check out Dr. Dan Siegel’s new book, Brainstorm.

http://drdansiegel.com

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OdBXGHwNCk